How to write jokes for a living jobs

...Currently, I need to address the following aspects: - Logo Design: Create an identifiable unique brand logo that reflects professionalism, innovation, and balanced life. - Website Development: I seek modern, clean and easy-to-navigate website design for increased user engagement. It should reflect my values of professionalism and balance life, while showcasing my innovative approach. - Social Media Management: Promote the brand across key relations networks, targeting professionals, entrepreneurs, and students. Content should communicate professionalism, innovation, and balance. Ideal candidates should have experience in branding, social media management, graphic design and web development. They must appreciate the essence of professionalism, innovation, and ...

I'm in need of an experienced architect or draftsman who can create a modern cottage type residential floor plan. The total area is between 1600-17-- square feet. Your task will be to generate a design that maximizes space, allows natural light, includes the following things and offers a visually appealing interior. Key features: - Understanding of residential architecture - Ability to create a floor plan that maximizes space - A 1 and a half car garage - 40 Feet Wide - Up to 70 feet long - A large laundry/utility room that includes a large sink, laundry, cabinetry and a drop zone. - Arched entryways - Full Primary Suite - One additional bedroom - A den/office or flexible space - One additiona...

I'm seeking a professional designer to create a brand identity for Aram Towers - a residential project of apartments that stands for peace, comfort, and calmness. - Aims: The overall vibe I'm aiming for is elegant and luxurious. This should appeal primarily to families looking for a comfortable and upscale living space. - Deliverables: I need a comprehensive set of marketing materials, including brochures, business cards, billboards, and, of course, a logo. Ideal candidates for this project would have: - Proven experience in branding and logo design for upscale residential properties - A solid understanding of how to visually communicate elegan...

I'm eager to transform my two apartments on the 20th floor into a more aesthetically appealing sanctuary. Endowed with a spacious 2,000 square foot of interior and a 1,300 square foot balcony, the remodel should focus heavily on the enhancement of designed living spaces and primary bedroom. - Proven experience in apartment remodels and conceptual floor plan creation is indispensable. - A keen eye for detail to help maximize the aesthetic appeal of the space is required. - Expertise in space planning for living areas and bedrooms is crucial. The remodel's ultimate goal is to intertwining living and outdoor space for entertaining and aesthetic appeal seamlessly, resulting in a modern...

I'm in need of a 3D designer to create sketches and render images for my living room and bedroom. The design should be minimalist, with a color scheme based on neutral colors. Key Requirements: - Must have experience in interior design and 3D rendering - Proficient in creating minimalist designs - Able to work with neutral color schemes Your deliverables will be: - Detailed sketches for the living room and bedroom - High quality render images that bring the designs to life Please note that I will need to see your previous work before proceeding. Looking forward to working with you. P.S. it will be a long term work. Need good bid to start as i will be needing weekly 1 render and for st...

I am looking for an experienced architect or construction professional who is proficient with gambrel roof designs and can guide me in choosing the perfect asphalt shingles for my 12×24' shed. This shed is specifically planned to serve as a comfortable living space, hence requires thoughtful structuring along with functional and aesthetically pleasing interiors. Key Requirements: - Ability to create an effective gambrel roof design suitable for asphalt shingles. - Knowledge of best practices for creating a comfortable living space within a shed. - Expertise in creating a detailed layout to fit in a kitchenette and sleeping area - Ability to flawlessly incorporate plumbing ...

As a concerned community member, I'm looking for an experienced surveyor to help me gather insights from both homeowners and renters within our neighborhood. The key objectives of this survey are to: 1. Understand feedback on community issues 2. Evaluate satisfaction levels with neighborhood amenities 3. Identify concerns related to safety and security As the ideal candidate, you would have prior experience managing and conducting similar surveys. Furthermore, good understanding of the local community and issues associated to living in shared communities will be crucial for this job. The insights collected should ultimately be presented as a comprehensive written report, laying out neighborhood perception statistics ...

Write me a python script that opens a socket to connect to Metasploit RPC using only Socket. Budget 30$

I am seeking a skilled architect or drafter to develop precise construction drawings for a residential project. Specifically, we’re designing a small cabin within an area of 500-1000 square feet. Key responsibilities: - Full set of construction drawings covering all aspects of the cabin's layout, including but not limited to foundations, framing, roofing, interior and exterior finishing - Drawings should detail all spaces within the house: living rooms, bedrooms, and the kitchen/dining area. Required skills and experience: - Proficiency in CAD or related software - Thorough knowledge of residential construction practices - Prior work of designing residential projects, preferably cabins or small homes. Please share examples of ...

I am looking for someone in India to gather information for a UK student investigating the possibility of studying art in India. Key considerations in this research include the cost of tuition, cost of living in the city / student accommodation where the university is situated, and how LGBT-friendly the region is. Sub-Headings: -University location and reputation -Details of fine art/art courses and if they can be taught in English. - Cost of Tuition & Living: Detail the tuition fee structure and estimate the cost of living in the cities where these universities are based. I wont be able to work so cost is an important factor - LGBT-friendly Environment: Include information on the social climate regarding LGBT issues an...

I will explain to you how Cost-Benefit Analysis (CBA) or Benefit-Cost Analysis (BCA) works in risk management and analysis. This would be based on the case study and course content that you have shared.

I'm looking for an experienced app developer to build a unique application usable for both iOS and Android platforms. The purpose of the app is to encourage people of all ages, particularly youths in schools, to adopt a more active lifestyle. The app will utilise GPS technology to facilitate users walking between various points within a defined area. As users reach these GPS points, they will accumulate virtual points. Key Features: - GPS Point Identification - Virtual Point Allocation - A Leaderboard System Users' progression will be determined by the total number of virtual points they accumulate, and these points will be reflected on an in-app leaderboard. Ideal candidates should have: - Proven exper...

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As a Site Verifier, you will verify a company’s existence through visual data by conducting a site visit to ensure that we provide reliable and accurate information to our client. JOB DESCRIPTION: • Conduct basic verification with the subject company’s authorized representative, such as line of business, key executives' names, etc. • Take pictures of the subject company and its vicinity per Confirmis’ standard operating guidelines. • Provide observation about the company to gauge activeness, e.g., staff working at the premise, loading/unloading of goods, etc. REQUIREMENTS: • Must be living in (or nearby) Basra, Iraq • Has a camera or phone/tablet of quality with a camera, intern...

Write mobile responsive html code. 222 words, 4 images. Some design work needed.

I need a striking yet powerful book cover designed for my religious book. Book info: Author: Jimmy Jean-Louis Embracing Grace. Your Free Gift. Living in Grace: Your Blueprint to Embracing God's Free Gift Book size: 8.5 x 0.28 x 11 inches Book Summary: Key Points: - Genre: Religious - Theme: Powerful - Imagery: Cross, Dove, Light beams The cover should communicate the strength and importance of the content, mirroring the theme of power. The symbolism of the cross, dove, and light beams should be incorporated artistically and meaningfully. I'm looking for a compelling design that will draw readers in and resonate with those seeking spiritual or faith-based content. Ideal Skills: - Proficiency in graphic

...you a video creator with a knack for making informative how-to/tutorial videos or are you more interest in comparing videos? If so, we have an amazing opportunity for you to join our team and showcase your talents on our established YouTube channel. We're looking for individuals who can create engaging step-by-step tutorials for software, apps, and email marketing tools. Please note, these are not animated explainer videos; we require screen recordings. Requirements: - Proficiency in English (native speakers preferred) - Willingness to record your phone/computer screen, along with your voice - Ability to explain concepts clearly and concisely - Access to a high-quality microphone I'm...

I am seeking the help of a professional for expertise in remodeling my single family raised ranch house. Key areas of the house that need expansion are: - Living room - Kitchen - Bedrooms - Sublevel Although I do not have a specific design style in mind, the expansion should feel natural, complement the existing structure and make efficient utilization of the expanded space. Ideal candidates should possess a diverse portfolio of design styles, have experience in home remodeling, and can make appropriate design suggestions based on the nature of the space and existing structure. Your bid should be inclusive of cost estimations of materials and man-hours. Looking forward to a satisfying execution of the project.

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...architect with a modern aesthetic to produce a unique layout for the first floor of a house measuring 15 x 70. Key features need to include: - Living room: This is an important area where all my family can relax and spend quality time together. It should be spacious and well-positioned. - Kitchen: Another significant space in the home where meals are prepared. A sleek, modern design which is functional and user-friendly. - 2 Bedrooms: Both bedrooms should be comfortable and exude warmth, promoting restful sleep. Please consider areas for storage, natural lighting and ventilation in your layout. It's essential to manage space wisely to avoid clutter and ensure every area is fully utilized. Prior experien...

Task: Redesign the attached floor plan. Requirements: - 2 Foyers (North Entrance and South Entrance) - 4 Bedrooms - 1 Kitchen (same location) - 2 Bathrooms (same location) - Dining Room - Living Room 2D furniture sample for each room. Notes: - Structural columns are marked with red circles. - The locations of the North and South Entrances, Kitchen, and 2 Bathrooms are fixed. Please include the code printed on the attached PDF of the current plan in your proposal to confirm that the project details have been thoroughly reviewed. Thank you.

...looking for a freelancer who is able to help me with a Magento 1 task. I got a template: ‘’Porto theme’’ and I can’t find out how to build / structure pages properly. The manual is not sufficient for me. How can I integrate the page structure of a demo (home)page for example? The automatic function is not working for some reason. I have contacted the developers: ‘’P-themes’’ and they suggested to go into the folder: ‘’app/code/local/Smartwave/Porto/etc/import’’ on the server, but from there I don’t know how to integrate these (short)codes on the page properly. Hope you can help me integrate it and ex...

...looking for a freelancer who is able to help me with a Magento 1 task. I got a template: ‘’Porto theme’’ and I can’t find out how to build / structure pages properly. The manual is not sufficient for me. How can I integrate the page structure of a demo (home)page for example? The automatic function is not working for some reason. I have contacted the developers: ‘’P-themes’’ and they suggested to go into the folder: ‘’app/code/local/Smartwave/Porto/etc/import’’ on the server, but from there I don’t know how to integrate these (short)codes on the page properly. Hope you can help me integrate it and ex...

I’m a contractor in need of a Florida-based architect to finalize the design of a mini caretaker apartment we aim to construct. We already have rough drawings but it is a mandatory requirement by our county for an architect to provide the final sign off. The apartment is envisioned as a cozy 19'3" x 14'5" one-room setup incorporating: - Kitchen: minimal cabinetry, a sink against an exterior wall, and space for a mini-stove, adding a half-wall partition from the bedroom area. - Bathroom: designed to fit in the back left corner, with a shower, toilet, and sink aligned on one wall. - Living Area: layout needs to be space-efficient due to the...

Are you a seasoned interior/exterior designer with a passion for creating stunning, functional living spaces? We are seeking a talented designer to help visualize and bring to life a unique villa/container concept in Bali. Project Overview: We are developing a property with five identical small villas, each with a ground area of 100m², inclusive of a small garden. The main structure of each villa will be based on containers, and we need compelling, modern designs for our proof of concept. What We Provide: – Rough floor plan and basic layout of the property. – Visual mood boards with material and design inspiration. Design Vision: We aim for functional, minimal living s...

Hi, We need a creative scriptwriter with a great sense of humor and knowledge of jokes and meme trends. I need many scripts related to the animal niche. I will ask for a 100 -150 word sample on the topic given by me. It's a long term task we need 8 scripts of 2000 words per week. We will hire multiple writers for this task. Have you had experience writing for a YouTube channel before? If so, we would love to see the links to your work. Additionally, please share some sample scripts that you have written. Payment will be via escrow. Interested candidate please bid. Regards, B

I require an adept electrician to address persistent electrical issues in my living room. Specifically, I am experiencing an annoying issue of frequent circuit breaker trips. The services I require encompass electrical troubleshooting and possible rewiring of the affected areas. Ideal skills and experience: - Proficiency in identifying and fixing electrical faults - Extensive experience in electrical troubleshooting - Ability to safely and efficiently rewire electrical systems if necessary - Familiarity with circuit breakers and ways to prevent their frequent tripping Understanding of local electrical codes will be a plus. Please detail your experience in your proposal.

Hi, We need a creative scriptwriter with a great sense of humor and knowledge of jokes and meme trends. I need many scripts related to the animal niche. I will ask for a 100 -150 word sample on the topic given by me. It's a long term task we need 8 scripts of 2000 words per week. We will hire multiple writers for this task. Have you had experience writing for a YouTube channel before? If so, we would love to see the links to your work. Additionally, please share some sample scripts that you have written. Payment will be via escrow. Interested candidate please bid. Regards, B

We're looking for a freelance English SEO writer specializing in B2B. Goal is to help our marketing startup achieve higher search engine rankings through blog posts. The ideal candidate will have a strong track record in: - Writing B2B SEO-optimized English blogs, targeting audience in English-speaking countries (US, UK etc) - Conducting thorough keyword research - Performing SEO website audits If this sounds like you, please DM your portfolio and rates. Only relevant applications with complete info will be considered, thanks!

Hi, We need a creative scriptwriter with a great sense of humor and knowledge of jokes and meme trends. I need many scripts related to the animal niche. I will ask for a 100 -150 word sample on the topic given by me. It's a long term task we need 8 scripts of 2000 words per week. We will hire multiple writers for this task. Have you had experience writing for a YouTube channel before? If so, we would love to see the links to your work. Additionally, please share some sample scripts that you have written. Payment will be via escrow. Interested candidate please bid. Regards, B

I need a local representative in Basra, Iraq, or nearby to conduct a business verification. Below is the task: 1. Visit the target address 2. Take photos 3. Conduct a mini-interview Requirements: 1. Living in (or nearby) Basra, Iraq 2. Available to do the job during business hours (9 AM - 4 PM) Notes: - 1 project can only be taken by one freelancer (on a first-come, first-served basis) - The milestone will be released the following week (Monday) after the verification to give us time to organize the report and contact you if we need additional clarification.

...looking for an expert architect with a keen interest in biophilic design to create a unique residential living space. This project entails devising a layout for a 1-2 rooms house, incorporating key natural elements. Key Deliverables: - Design of a 1-2 rooms biophilic house - Integration of natural lighting and ventilation - Inclusion of plants and greenery - Addition of water features Ideal Experience and Skills: - Proficient in architectural design - Strong experience in biophilic design - Creative thinking - Exceptional understanding of natural lighting and ventilation - Expertise in incorporating flora and water-related elements in design. Your thoughtful embrace of these principles will elevate our project a...

I'm looking for an interior designer to completely transform my living room into a minimalist haven. My living room is less than 40 square mt and I am interested in a simple yet sophisticated aesthetic. Key tasks include: * Analyzing the current state of the room and suggesting improvements * Developing a new layout plan * Providing a minimalist design concept that maximizes available space Ideal Skills and Experience: * Proven experience in minimalist interior design * Portfolio of designs for comparable spaces * A deep understanding of space planning and functionality * Creativity and innovative approach in using small spaces effectively Your bid should include design plan, sourcing furnishings and accessor...

...need of an architect to design a modern style triplex villa. The total area is 110 square meters and the project is expected to be a contemporary, sophisticated and functional living space. Key requirements include: - Designing the villa specifically in a Modern style - Crafting a layout that blends open plan living with separate rooms for privacy. This means ensuring there's a balance between communal areas and private spaces. - Incorporating key features such as a private garden or terrace, multiple balconies and rooftop access. These features are essential and should be integrated seamlessly into the design. Ideal candidates for this project should: - Have a strong portfolio of modern a...

I'm looking for a talented writer to create engaging, informative and educational blog posts for my lifestyle blog. Your focus will be on healthy living within the lifestyle niche. Key Requirements: - Experience in writing engaging, informative content - Understanding of the lifestyle and healthy living niche - Ability to conduct independent research - Strong writing and communication skills The blog will aim to provide valuable information on maintaining a healthy lifestyle. If you have a passion for health and wellness, and can write in an engaging and informative way, I would love to hear from you.

Sure, here is ...English: --- Hello, I am looking for an interior decorator to help me furnish and decorate my new apartment. We would like to start with the living room and the bedroom. We like the modern and minimalist style, with a preference for the Scandinavian style. We also appreciate some details that could warm up the atmosphere of the rooms. Here is some information about our living room: - The kitchen is anthracite-colored with an island featuring a white base and an anthracite countertop. - The floor is covered with light gray tiles. - Our furniture is mainly white and beige. - We mostly buy our furniture from IKEA and Pfister. We would like a proposal that harmonizes these elements while bringing a pers...

I'm seeking a talented interior designer to envision and create a modern aesthetic for my residential space. Key Requirements: - Design: The ability to bring a contemporary, modern flair to a residential setting. - Space: Proficiency in designing living rooms, bedrooms, and kitchens. Experience and Skills: - Proven track record of modern interior design projects with a strong portfolio. - Familiarity with residential interior design trends. - Excellent communication skills to understand and interpret client needs and preferences.

I’m seeking a web designer who can create my residential remodeling business. This website should clearly showcase my varied services, focusing on kitchen, bathroom, living room remodeling, room additions, and outdoor living areas. The style should blend modern, traditional, and contemporary elements, complementing our unique 'suburban barn' aesthetic. Ideal skills include: - Prior experience in creating portfolio websites for remodeling or similar industries. - Capacity to create a user-friendly interface, easy for potential clients to navigate to find service information. - An eye for design that can visually translate the varying styles of our work into an engaging and professional website. This proj...

Hi, I need a structural engineer to design a steel i beam for a 20' 3" span (wall between kitchen and living room is being eliminated) and a second Steel I beam for a 23 foot span beam in the center of the family room.. I want the I beam to be completely hidden in the floor joist which are either 2x8 or 2x10 floor joist. These beams are for a cape cod style house the address is 56 Hale Rd Glastonbury CT 06033. Above the Family room there is a flat roof, above the kitchen and living room there is living space and a roof . Please let me know if you need anymore information.

...designer who can transform my living room into a very modernized, stylish space. Key Requirements: please see the living room in the first floor with 2 ACs and one desert coller with two windows. the large window is open to the roof of a setting room downstair. we need 1- modernized the first floor seating area where the tv is , you can change the lights and doors color. 2- for the setting room in ground floor, i need to remove the roof of the setting room down stair to be a sky light, seiling need to be higher ..pay attention to first floor . 3- need to design the skylight as it is seen from the seating room in first floor . 4- need every thing with deminsions 5- need more than one option 6- announce...

I'm seeking a professional interior designer to help me revamp my living room, kitchen, and bedroom into a traditional/modern style. Key Requirements: - Proven experience with residential interior design - Strong portfolio showcasing traditional design aesthetics - Knowledge of creating cohesive designs across multiple rooms You should be able to: - Understand my vision and translate it into a traditional style - Recommend and source appropriate furniture and decor - Create a design that is both aesthetically pleasing and functional.

...interior architect to design and visualize four 2-storey townhouses, each 100 sqm. These will be let partially furnished to middle-income tenants. Key Requirements: - The design should be modern, purist and minimalist, with a focus on functionality and upmarket style. - The design should create a cozy and warm ambiance while maximizing space utilisation. - The design shall include drawings of the kitchen (excluding appliances which the tenants bring), the stores, the bedroom wardrobes and beds, the L-shaped study desk, the bathroom vanity and the shelf in the upstairs passage (corridor). The design shall also include the patio and the balcony. - The design shall be at a level of detail and including a BoM, allowing bespoke furniture vendors ...

I'm seeking a seasoned furniture designer to create modern furniture models for multiple rooms in my newly constructed home. Specifically, the project involves designing furniture for the five bedrooms, foyer, living room, dining room, entertainment room and one lounge Ideal Skills and Experience: - Previous experience with furniture design. - Strong knowledge of contemporary, modern styles. - Familiarity with designing furniture for bedrooms, living rooms, and dining rooms. Project Goals: - Ultra Luxury furniture design required - To create unique, practical, and modern furniture designs for a bedroom, living room, and dining room. - To have preliminary sketches within two weeks. Please, include...

I'm looking for a professional, modern and elegant logo design for my business, City Nest Living. I'm open to any colour scheme, so feel free to be creative. Key requirements: - Professional: The logo should reflect a sense of experience, trustworthiness and credibility. This should be conveyed through the choice of fonts, symbols and overall design. - Modern: The logo should have a contemporary feel, avoiding dated or overly traditional design elements. - Elegant: I want the logo to have a touch of sophistication and refinement. It should be stylish and classy, without being too flashy. - The company name must be included in the logo Ideal skills and experience: - A strong portfolio with a hi...

Project Title: AI Image Processing for User Face Image with Clothing Overlay I am looking for a freelancer who can utilize AI technology and image processing to create a single image that combines a user's face image with clothing overlay. The specific requirements for this project are as follows: AI Technology: - The freelancer should have expertise in image processing techniques to achieve the desired result. API Preferences: - There are no specific API preferences, and the freelancer can use their discretion in selecting the most suitable API for the task. Final Output: - The final output should be a single image that contains the user's face image with clothing overlay. - The clothing overlay should inc...

I'm in need of a Bulgarian resident who can assist me in obtaining a certificate of fiscal residence from the Bulgarian tax office for my company. Your role: - You don't need to be the company owner, but you should be living in Bulgaria. - I don't have the legal authorization to obtain the certificate on behalf of the company, so you should have experience in navigating this process. - The certificate will be used for tax purposes in another country Ideal Skills and Experience: - Residency in Bulgaria. - Legal expertise in obtaining documents on behalf of a company. - A good understanding of the Bulgarian tax system (optional)

...need of a creative writer to come up with "Would You Rather" jokes for a middle school audience. The jokes should: - Be suitable for middle school students. - Be delivered in written form, without the need for illustrations or audio. - not IA generated - not from internet or from existing books (sorry, we already have them all) Ideal candidates for this project are: - Experienced writers or joke creators who understand the unique sense of humor of middle schoolers. - Able to produce engaging and fun content that is suitable for kids/family party. - Creative and able to come up with a wide range of jokes on different everyday topics. Your work will help entertain and engage ou...

As a freelance videographer, I'm looking for an individual based in Thailand who can assist me with capturing some events. - Required Equipment: I'm looking for a camera person who has their personal DSLR camera, tripod, and lighting equipment. The quality of these pieces of equipment is important to me as I'm looking for high-quality footage. - Primary Task: Your primary task will be videography. This includes recording all relevant moments during the events I'll be attending. You should be adept at capturing the essence of an event and be able to anticipate and react quickly to different scenarios. - Focus of Videography: The focus of the videography will be on events. Your understanding of how to...

...need of a professional who can both design and draft plans for a remodeling project I'm planning. The project involves a wide scope of work on several areas of my property. The project involves mainly remodeling the interior spaces of my property, which includes the kitchen, bathroom, and living room, office space. I also need plans for exterior and interior design, as well as landscaping and paving designs. Ideal skills and experience for this job include: - Proficiency in architectural design and drafting - Experience with remodeling projects - Knowledge of different materials and techniques for interior and exterior design - Ability to incorporate landscaping and paving designs into the overall project - Strong co...

As a skilled writer looking to earn money, I'm keen to explore the world of copywriting. I'm seeking a professional copywriter who can guide me on how to monetize this skill. Key Requirements: - Show me the ropes: I need a comprehensive understanding of the art of copywriting, and how this skill can be used to generate income. - Help me get started: I'm looking for practical tips, strategies, and possibly even some initial assignments to help me start earning money as a copywriter. Ideal Skills and Experience: - Proven success as a copywriter - Ability to explain and demonstrate how to make a living out of copywriting - Excellent mentoring and coac...